Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
