Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
