This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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