Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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