dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
