Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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