I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
