she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
