but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
