woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
