We're facebook friends in real life
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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