he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
