But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm at about main and main street
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
