The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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