I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
