we have officially lost it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
