batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
