I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
