Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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