I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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