It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
