She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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