dude i'm inner monologue high
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
