If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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