I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
