I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
