i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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