If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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