you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
