ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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