It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
