good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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