i already hear my dad disowning me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
