so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
