So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
