Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
All the doctor said was why
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
