Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
