I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize