it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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