is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
