some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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