If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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