i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
