also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
