Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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