Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
