just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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