id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
