The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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