Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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